Debate is masculine, conversation is feminine.

I realised this evening that I really miss my old life. I really love what I have now but there is a part of me that will always look back and wonder.

We ended up at a braai at a friends house. It was lovely to meet some new faces and see some old ones. I enjoyed seeing the old varsity faces again.I was taken back to the old days where we would enjoy a glass of wine and debate the strangest things until we had nothing left to say. I have to giggle thinking back now at how interesting small company mentality vs big company mentality could be.

In many ways I would love to have my cake and eat it. I would love to go back to weekends spent sleeping in and going out to fancy lunches. I miss going out shopping and spending all my money of shoes and crazy hairstyles. Going out until 3am and crawling back in to bed fore the sun rises. I enjoyed my other life, it was so good in so many ways. Its not nearly as good as what I have now but it still makes me glow thinking back.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Today was Jasmynes first day in big school. She started Grade R.  I was so proud of  her, in her little uniform. We bought her a size 4-5 and it was still to big. The shirt just passes her knees the pants we had to take in on the sides. You have exactly four fingers of skin between the end of the pants and the start of the socks where you can see her little legs peeping out. Her jersey has to be pulled up or it hangs way over her finger tips. I really think I should have gone with the 3-4 size but I was concerned about it being a tad to small.

Last night:

Jasmyne was very eager about starting today, we spoke about her new teacher Mrs Van Wyk and her new class and what it would be like to make new friends. Jasmyne insisted on helping my make her sandwiches. I love watching her spread the butter over the bread, she does it with so much care. Then she pulled out the cherries and pretzels and a small tub of yogurt .Then we packed her school cooler bag and she sat with me while we chatted about growing up. After she went to bed I popped a little note in her lunch tin. The note says:

Jasmyne,

You are our little star I love you always mommy.

She found it this morning while she was packing her cooler bag into her school bag. I knew beacuse she came to ask me why it says rats on the letter I gave her. Shes going through this weird phase of reading letters backwards. Its cute however weird it may be.

This morning:

Jasmyne was up and about very early.  We had set the table for her last night before bed so this morning, I made her breakfast. She declined, I could see on her face that this was the last thing she wanted to be doing. I let her go and she whizzed off to her room to get dressed. When she came out she was looking so smart! Little Abigail was so excited she ran to Jazz and hugged her so tight.

At school:

Our first day was amazing. Jazz just slipped into the whole vibe of the school. The kids were all very excited about being back at school.They had SABC walking around chatting to parents and children.

Jazz walked into her class and started looking for her name on her desk. Her desk is in the middle of the class right up front near the teacher. Then she went looking for her locker. Its so pretty, she has a bottom locker with her name tag neatly printed on it. Next to her name is a very pretty pink little flower. She popped her little bag in her locker then greeted the teacher and bolted outside to go check out the school play ground. Then she came back in and said hello to Rachel. They met at orientation day and shes been so excited out about seeing her again. Rachel was thrilled to see Jasmyne, her mother said she was talking about her the entire holiday. Before we left Jasmyne said Rachel was going to be her new best friend Her teacher is lovely and warm. I have a good feeling about this school.

The 911 on the first day in class:

After school Granny collected Jazzy. I called them to see how it went. Jen said that Jasmyne was rather quiet and very tired. I called Jazzy and she said that she had a wonderful day, she loved playing with her new friends and she loved her new teacher. She said that all the children were given their own crayons and that they had to draw pictures of themselves. Jazz said she drew a picture of her with coloured hair! She loved playing with Rachel and would like her to come over for a play date. Jared was also there today Jasmyne says he wanted to talk to her about his holiday but she didnt want to listen she just wanted to run around and play.

And so the first day of school draws to an end.

Some pictures:

Be The Best of Whatever You Are ….

Tomorrow is my little Jasmynes first day in big school. The excitement has been building up at home all week as we counted down the days. I sat back this afternoon and thought about my first day at school. I remember my mother walking into my bedroom with my pretty little red and white uniform. She came to sit on my bed and said to me, Nashy, what ever happens tomorrow and the day after just do your best and things will always work out. I have always kept that with me especially on days when I feel like I just dont have it in me to take that next step. She put my hair in rag curls, I remember her carefully pulling up each stand and then slowly twisting it around until it was neatly fixed to my head.

The first day was a big day in our house. I would be going to the school my mother went to when she was a little girl like me. I was up and dressed early that morning, when I walked into the kitchen my mother had made my porridge already and was waiting to take down my curls. I had a huge red bag that I could carry on my back, it matched my uniform.My mother was so proud. I could tell because she was wiping away her tears as she took photos of me on the lawn.

When we arrived at school we were shown to my new classroom. It was huge and there were many parents milling about. I was rather outspoken and went to every child there and introduced myself. I was so excited about making new friends! My first best friends name was Maria she was greek and her father owned a corner shop that was filled with sweets and always smelt like freashly baked bread. My teachers name was Mrs Powel, she was a huge lady with long black curls. She always wore a strong floral perfume and bright red lipstick. I liked her, she always had time to sit down and ask me how I was doing. I know she loved to teach everyday she would let me sit with her and she would show me how to read half way into the year I was allowed to go to the standard one class to get my own reading books. Thinking back now I think she was one of the best teachers I ever had. I found some old friends on face book and asked how she was. Mrs Powel had passed away a few years ago. its rather sad that I never got the opportunity to go back and thank her for all that she had done for me.

I wonder if any of the other teachers are still there. I wonder if I had to go back now how much would have changed, if they would still remember me. I guess not, at least I remember them.

For my little girl on your first day of school

If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill
Be a scrub in the valley–but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.

If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway some happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie then just be a bass–
But the liveliest bass in the lake!

We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here.
There’s big work to do and there’s lesser to do,
And the task we must do is the near.

If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail–
Be the best of whatever you are!

by Douglas Malloch