Archive for the Learning Category

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.

Posted in ADHD, Learning, Reflection Time on February 6, 2009 by navasha123

It was a bitter sweet victory today. Its been a while since I really felt like I had some decent answers to all my questions. Today was diffrent it feels like  a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A huge part of me did not want to see that Jasmyne had ADHD it felt like agreeing with all the doctors meant I was admitting defeat. A big part of me, and I do mean a BIG part of me wanted to just forget about this and act like everything was fine. That there were no issues in class, that there were no issues at home that my daughter was totally perfect in every way possible. The stigma that I had glued to ADHD was appalling, and to all the mothers out there who have dealt with this every day I do apologize. What I believed ADHD was last year and what I know it is now are two entirely diffrent things.

So what do I know about it so far?

I know now that its not caused bypoor parenting or an unstable homelife alothough this could make things worse for the child. I know that sugar could be a trigger but its not the cause. I know that this would happen even in the most promineta schools and has nothing to do with the teachers ability to teach. I know that TV wont cause this either. In excess these things would make things more difficult but they would not be the cause.

There is more i have leaned and there is more than I do need to learn. At least we have a way forward and I am feeling very positive at the moment.

It’s OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.

Posted in ADHD, Family, Learning on February 4, 2009 by navasha123

We had to make a decision a few hours ago. It was not an easy one to make and honestly the only thing that is going to make me change my mind is if I loose faith in what I am about to do. Why is it always easier to have faith in others and always so much more difficult when you need to believe in yourself.

I have been okay with making choices that impact me but some how I always second guess myself when it comes to my children. Its hard to make choices for others when you know that the choices you make will have an impact on their lives forever. If I look back on the research I have done thus far I can honestly say that the choices I am making are informed ones. When we decided to go this route we were sure this was in our babies best interests.

I suppose that at this point the best thing to do is take that leap of faith and see which way it goes. I know I will have to brace myself for comments and snide remarks.Its already started coming in waves from our own family. Lets hope we have the strength to ride these waves as a family. This could just be the test we need.

I shall name you squishy. And you shall be my little squishy.

Posted in Girls Time, Learning, School, Time together on January 26, 2009 by navasha123

Jasmynes had her first show and tell day at school, I bought her squishies to take to school for all the children to see how they grow. These little squishies are really interesting to watch they start off as little beads and when you add water they swell into these big bubble like balls. I could spend hours running my hands in their water. So far we have three colours but we really need more jars!

I enjoy doing home work with Jasmyne, its supposed to only take us 20 minutes to finish but we seem to get so caught up in what we are doing we don’t notice the time. I wonder about the time allocation are we really meant to complete it in a set time?

I have a meeting her teacher in the morning I will try to find out a little more. While we were going over the numbers and addresses she was supposed to remember, Jasmyne piped up, when do I get to do real big school homework like uncle Brandon? That of course lead to a whole discussion about things happening at the right time. Then it lead to growing up and then why we do homework and then when what happens if you have an emergency at home and then what to do when some one steals you. As you can see there is clearly a reason we take so long to do the homework part we both have a passion for talking!

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle

Posted in Learning, Listen, Reflection Time on January 21, 2009 by navasha123

I was reading up on children learning to build relationships at school when I came across this quote. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle.

This quote really made me sit back and think about how I present myself to people during the day. I often wonder if the person they see is the person I really am or if they just assume I am a certain type of person just because of how I come across to them. I understand that first impressions count but what about last expressions. Do you ever really get a chance to go back and change that?

The other thing about this quote that had me thinking was that even with people we know, is it really that difficult to try, understand where they are coming from. To just give that other person the space and understanding they need because they really could be fighting a battle you know nothing of. I think that often it is to easy to make assumptions based on choices you would make rather than waiting it out to see how the cards fall.

I suppose the only way to really understand this quote is to give it a try. Just give everyone the benefit of the doubt and trust them with out them having to ask you. It is always easy to run someone down but how long does it take to help build them up again.

I am off to spend the evening with Edward and a cup of tea now at least he gets me *grin*

The trouble with super heroes is what to do between phone booths.

Posted in Best friend, Learning, Listen, Reflection Time on January 19, 2009 by navasha123

One of my favorite shows at the moment is Heroes, I love to wonder what it would be like if we had super powers. I wonder if majority of us would use them for good or if we would all turn on each other with our newly found abilities. I wonder if life would become easier in some ways and more complicated in others.

We were watching twilight last night and there was this really beautiful scene where the family of vampires, were playing baseball. Each family member had his or her own unique ability which made the game that much more fun. I suppose it is possible to say that we do have heroes that walk beside us every day. In a sense each member of our own families really does have abilities which are unique to them.

If I had to really think about it I would say Vaughn has the ability to look at anything and understand how it works, from car engines to remote controlled cars. It is incredible to watch him take something apart and have it running again with in minutes. Jasmyne would definitely have the power of insight. She is so good at reading people and how they are feeling. Abigail is still a little thing I would think her ability is healing, it is amazing how just a smile from her can turn a person’s day!

When I look outside our family I believe I have friends with wonderful super power abilities. I have a friend who can stop time. She takes photos and that one special moment can stop for eternity. I have a friend who has ESP, I was thinking of her and out of the blue she called me to ask me how I was doing. I have a friend who has super strength! No matter what card life hands her she stands up and dusts her knees. I met another friend not so long ago who has the power of persuasion, she has this amazing talent to convince you that you can do anything you want to do. These friends have all helped me this week in ways they probably will never know. Its because of these friends that my one dream at work is going to become a reality.

So you see there are people who have super powers that move alongside us everyday its just that sometimes we dont see them for what they really are … Heroes!

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Posted in A fresh start, Best friend, First day at school, growing up, Learning, School, Teacher on January 14, 2009 by navasha123

Today was Jasmynes first day in big school. She started Grade R.  I was so proud of  her, in her little uniform. We bought her a size 4-5 and it was still to big. The shirt just passes her knees the pants we had to take in on the sides. You have exactly four fingers of skin between the end of the pants and the start of the socks where you can see her little legs peeping out. Her jersey has to be pulled up or it hangs way over her finger tips. I really think I should have gone with the 3-4 size but I was concerned about it being a tad to small.

Last night:

Jasmyne was very eager about starting today, we spoke about her new teacher Mrs Van Wyk and her new class and what it would be like to make new friends. Jasmyne insisted on helping my make her sandwiches. I love watching her spread the butter over the bread, she does it with so much care. Then she pulled out the cherries and pretzels and a small tub of yogurt .Then we packed her school cooler bag and she sat with me while we chatted about growing up. After she went to bed I popped a little note in her lunch tin. The note says:

Jasmyne,

You are our little star I love you always mommy.

She found it this morning while she was packing her cooler bag into her school bag. I knew beacuse she came to ask me why it says rats on the letter I gave her. Shes going through this weird phase of reading letters backwards. Its cute however weird it may be.

This morning:

Jasmyne was up and about very early.  We had set the table for her last night before bed so this morning, I made her breakfast. She declined, I could see on her face that this was the last thing she wanted to be doing. I let her go and she whizzed off to her room to get dressed. When she came out she was looking so smart! Little Abigail was so excited she ran to Jazz and hugged her so tight.

At school:

Our first day was amazing. Jazz just slipped into the whole vibe of the school. The kids were all very excited about being back at school.They had SABC walking around chatting to parents and children.

Jazz walked into her class and started looking for her name on her desk. Her desk is in the middle of the class right up front near the teacher. Then she went looking for her locker. Its so pretty, she has a bottom locker with her name tag neatly printed on it. Next to her name is a very pretty pink little flower. She popped her little bag in her locker then greeted the teacher and bolted outside to go check out the school play ground. Then she came back in and said hello to Rachel. They met at orientation day and shes been so excited out about seeing her again. Rachel was thrilled to see Jasmyne, her mother said she was talking about her the entire holiday. Before we left Jasmyne said Rachel was going to be her new best friend Laughing Her teacher is lovely and warm. I have a good feeling about this school.

The 911 on the first day in class:

After school Granny collected Jazzy. I called them to see how it went. Jen said that Jasmyne was rather quiet and very tired. I called Jazzy and she said that she had a wonderful day, she loved playing with her new friends and she loved her new teacher. She said that all the children were given their own crayons and that they had to draw pictures of themselves. Jazz said she drew a picture of her with coloured hair! She loved playing with Rachel and would like her to come over for a play date. Jared was also there today Jasmyne says he wanted to talk to her about his holiday but she didnt want to listen she just wanted to run around and play.

And so the first day of school draws to an end.

Some pictures:

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.

Posted in A fresh start, Learning, New Projects, Play Therapy, Reflection Time, Time together on January 10, 2009 by navasha123

Yesterday was the first day of our parenting classes . One of the things that came out of Jasmynes testing at the end of last year was that Jasmyne was extremely bright but also rather stressed. This seemed to be the reason she was lashing out and being difficult at school and at home. What was decided was that we needed some family intervention. As a team we were not working together any more. We  decided that we could take one of two routes. We  could ride out the storm and see how things go or we could grab the bull by the horns and see if there was anything that we could learn about parenting that we did not know.

After yesterdays session I walked away feeling rather positive. I do know what needs to be done, in my heart I always have. The difference is that now I know how I am going to do it. It comes down to one of my biggest fears, Being good enough. I seem to have this fear that I will never be a good enough mother or partner or friend. When things go wrong I blame myself.

Re-learning this is not about blaming or pointing fingers. Its about growing and teaching my children to grow. My dream for them is that one day they have the confidence they need to make choices that impact their lives.

We looked at a few topics but it was mainly based on

1. Dealing with feelings and how to express them and how to acknowledge them.
2. How to manage wining and feelings of frustration when children cannot get what they would like.
3. The importance of spending one on one time with each of the children in the evenings and at least 3-4 hours a day on a weekend as a family.
4. Change and how negative and positive change is stressful.

As I mentioned these are things I already know.  So why am  doing this then? I wondered about it myself last night and this is what I came up with. I can afford to send my kids to a beautiful school where I am sure they will both receive a wonderful educations. I can bring them home and teach them to bake, draw, sew and send them to private music and swimming  lessons. Is that really enough to help them become all that they can?

The question nagging me in the back of my mind is what do you do with all these skills of you do not have a good sense of self esteem and a confidence in the choices you make. If you do not have dreams and have an idea how to follow them, where will life take you? If there is a chance that these meetings can help me tackle topics such as  learning to communicate, how to discuss  topics like sex, loosing friends, drugs and so forth why not do it? If there was a way to teach my girls about values and to standing up for what they believe in why not at least try it.

That is where we are at the moment. I would like to think that all the learning wont change our family it would just make us a stronger team.