Archive for the Reflection Time Category

A change is as good as a holiday …

Posted in Reflection Time on April 22, 2009 by navasha123

Things went mad at the start of school suddenly time became a valuable commodity. I have got some lovely news on my little family though!

Abigail:  Shes talking! Its lovely to hear her chatter in the mornings. Shes is the little lady of the house. Abby has loads of new teeth they are perfect in every way.

Jasmyne: My little sunshine did exceptionally well in her first term. It was good to have that feed back after months of uncertainly on the choices we were making for her. Jazzy finally lost her first tooth (naturally might I add).

Vaughn: One morning he woke up and decided we should get married. Which was wonderful since I now have something to plan!

Me: I am in a great place at the moment, it feels like my home life has settled. I have been baking again and now that I have a carmera I can take pictures!!

I think I should make a whole new page on the wedding its so exciting and has been so much easier to plan this time around.

new picture of my babies

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ahhhhhhhh we are back in action

Posted in Reflection Time on February 20, 2009 by navasha123

after not having a working modem for a while i am finally back lol so watch this space folks

If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you.

Posted in Reflection Time on February 7, 2009 by navasha123

OH MY. Abigail had her first swimming lesson this morning. She was thrilled to be in the water after standing on the side lines for the passed few weeks. Once she was in there was no stopping her. We were lucky to be allowed to swim while Jasmyne was in the water which made the logistics so much easier. Abby tried to copy Jasmyne, which meant she ended up sticking her face in the water a few times.

Jasmyne had a great lesson I turned around just in time to see her put her head in the water and do a lap! she still had her swimming aids on but today was the first time she really started swimming with out help.  She did four more before taking a break.

We had a small fight trying to get Abigail out the water, she really enjoyed herself this morning.

I have been watching Jasmyne closley to see any changes in her. So far I have ot seen anything. Shes still happy go lucky little jasmyne, still eating up a storm, still making up songs and practicing her ballet.

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.

Posted in ADHD, Learning, Reflection Time on February 6, 2009 by navasha123

It was a bitter sweet victory today. Its been a while since I really felt like I had some decent answers to all my questions. Today was diffrent it feels like  a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A huge part of me did not want to see that Jasmyne had ADHD it felt like agreeing with all the doctors meant I was admitting defeat. A big part of me, and I do mean a BIG part of me wanted to just forget about this and act like everything was fine. That there were no issues in class, that there were no issues at home that my daughter was totally perfect in every way possible. The stigma that I had glued to ADHD was appalling, and to all the mothers out there who have dealt with this every day I do apologize. What I believed ADHD was last year and what I know it is now are two entirely diffrent things.

So what do I know about it so far?

I know now that its not caused bypoor parenting or an unstable homelife alothough this could make things worse for the child. I know that sugar could be a trigger but its not the cause. I know that this would happen even in the most promineta schools and has nothing to do with the teachers ability to teach. I know that TV wont cause this either. In excess these things would make things more difficult but they would not be the cause.

There is more i have leaned and there is more than I do need to learn. At least we have a way forward and I am feeling very positive at the moment.

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Posted in Reflection Time on February 5, 2009 by navasha123

I woke up in such a state this morning at 2 am and then at 3am and then at 4am. I had so much going through my head  and most of it is just anger and disappointment. Jasmynes godfathers were involved in an armed robbery last night. Thankfully no one was hurt. This was the second armed robbery in our area in as many weeks.

The police were very helpful they arrived in a cracking 45 minutes! Sure they are just up the road but they were probably busy dealing with real problems so who could really blame them.

So these armed strangers, wait lets be truthful here these thugs, walked into our friends home after going next door. They went next door only to realise that the two women in there were black and apologised to them for disturbing them and then went on to explain that they were only there to rob the white guys and then left. At this point I was raging how dare they make it a race issue. Once I had come to my senses I was thankful. Looking at the lesser of the two evils I am almost thankful that it was a race issue and not some random act of violence, these two woman could have been raped for no reason. Their lives could have been dramatically altered if things were different. So to a degree the things that happened, probably end better than most circumstances.

My friends had guns to their heads, their computer room was trashed, the work they had been doing was either stolen or destroyed. They were face down helplessly wondering what was going to happen next with guns aimed at them. Even though the work was backed up its now gone. Any money they had is gone, along with bank cards and pin numbers. Even if the cards are stopped it will take a while to have it put back into the accounts. Which means that they are going to have a difficult month ahead.

So while I was laying in bed jumping with every sounds around me, I tried to understand what had gone on. People like this make me so angry really they do, the best reason they could come up with for putting a gun to someones head was because they are white. In a world with so many issues already the best excuse they could drum up was race. Honestly that was lame. If I had access to a gun I could think of so many better reasons to put it to someones head, but skin colour? Really? Is that the best they could come up with?  I am trying to picture how they planned this.

Hey Bob how about the five of us commit an armed robbery I have the guns laying in the boot

Great idea mike! We can make loads of money and destroy a few lives and careers!

Well bob that depends on what we take.

What will we blame it on if we get caught Mike?

Um, well Bob I didn’t quite think that through, if we say something like we believe they are evil satanists we would have to prove it, so lets just play the race card, it works.

My biggest mistake this time round was not getting Jasmyne out the lounge when they arrived. She sat there wide eyed soaking this all up. So this morning while I was getting ready for work I also had to answer questions like, why did the baddies only say they want to steal from the white mens? I have no one to blame here but myself I should have moved her sooner.

So the big question comes up yet again what do we do, clearly our area is not that safe.

My answer to that is we am staying right where we am! I love my home! I am concerned about my families safety there was a reason I could not sleep last night but I have a bigger project I am working on. I am not going to let these thugs bully us out of our homes. I am going to keep teaching my children that we are better than this and that we do live in a beautiful country. I am going to keep teaching them that no matter what there is never a good reason to put a gun to someones head, there is never a good reason to destroy someones life , there is never a good reason to hurt anyone. I know we are going to win this, if we all stick together and do this the right way.

So no, I am not a sitting duck I would like to see myself as being proactive. I will make more of an effort to get to know my neighbors, I will be more vigilant in terms of keeping my children safe and we will be that change everyone wants to see in South Africa. My question to you is, can you be that too?

Love is my Sword, Goodness my Armor, And Humor my Shield

Posted in Reflection Time on February 3, 2009 by navasha123

I was fortunate enough to have an interesting conversation with a friend whom I never see .  I think if we were ever given the chance to meet in real life we probably would not have become friends as quickly as we have. We are two totally diffident people.  Yet while we are chatting on mail we seem to have the same goals, being mothers, learning about others and just trying to make what we have good. Its days like this that I truly appreciate her.  So today I am going to talk about her because I don’t think she knows how wonderful she really is.

My friend, this interesting, funny, wholesome woman is a lovely friend. Some days I dont think she sees it. Like most of us she probably gets so busy in her daily activities so she does not see we everyone around her does. Some days I believe shes so busy making the world around her a beautiful place she does not notice that the main reason it is what it is, is beacuse she is who she is.

My friend, has courage. No matter how many times she gets knocked down in life she always gets up. My friend has honesty. She has never been the type of person who would pretend to have  an unrealistic life, or brag about being some perfect mother who can manage it all. She doesn’t need to you see,  beacuse she is so much more.  She has this incredible amount of hope. That is her best quality, hope that keeps going. When I talk to her and I feel that hope and that quiet confidence she has within, and then it spills over to my side of the screen too.

To my friend I hope you are reading this today, I hope that you really understand that the world is a better place beacuse you are who you are.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you’re just a reflection of him?

Posted in Dad, Family, Reflection Time, Time together on February 2, 2009 by navasha123

I was going to post about Vaughn staying at home today, how  it was quite a blessing for me since today I was rather busy.

I was going to share how impressed I am with how he managed to play house day on his day off and how he started by getting Jasmyne ready for school. How he remembered the show and tell and managed to give Jazz a good explanation on weavers  and their nests and then still packed the swimming gear before heading off to school! He even managed a brief meeting with her teacher about our idea on using a stress ball in class during lessons and how we believe it could help in class.

I probably would have gone into detail about I arrived to CLEAN HOUSE, the lasagna was in the oven baking, Jasmyne had put together the garlic rolls and Abigail was in the process of setting the table.

If I had not turned on the TV when I did I would have probably gone into detail about making a dash to the school for the first PTA meeting, which left Vaughn to help Jazz finish her home work, make sure both kids brushed teeth and read to them before bed.

But I did turn on the TV when I did and what I saw numbed me to the core. Oprah had a show about super moms who make mistakes not just burn the toast before breakfast mistakes. Mistakes that cost lives. Mistakes that can not be fixed no matter how super these moms are. I was busy packing my bags to run out to my meeting when something in me just said stop. I walked over to the TV and slowly felt my bag slipping to the floor. I was still listening with one ear on the TV and the other on the kids when I realised I was probably watching myself on TV. A me that had managed to get lucky thus far. I do try be all that, I work hard at being the best mom I can be the bar has been set very high by ME and only me.

It was one of those fluorescent light bulb moments for me as I realised that joining the PTA this year would not be a good choice. No one would benefit from this choice. My kids dont need a mother who can do it all they need a mother who can love them more. It was so easy to understand that how come I had never seen it before!

So I wont join the PTA this year I will rather spend my evenings at home reading books to my girls and baking muffins. At school functions I wont be the mother selling tickets and refreshments I will be the mother in the photos with my children! When it comes to rasing funds I will be the mother who hands over R50 to the school and runs off to play with the kids. And guess what? There will be no guilt not one inch. And you know why? Beacuse I know I have made my choices and the real super moms of the world have made theirs. So tonight I am packing up my cape, for good. Who wants to be a super hero anyway ….