Archive for the A fresh start Category

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.

Posted in A fresh start, Family on February 8, 2009 by navasha123

I think its time to share my a little about my mom. Shes been through a alot with me and the amazing thing about her is that there is never a task to great when it comes to her kids.

I went there today to gain a little more courage and some love. Yes I admit it I am a mommies girl and I run to my mommy for love and attention.

Today I needed love more than anything. It was great to be able to curl up in her arms just for a hug. It reminds me of when I was little she would lay on her bed and I would go lay down beside her and put my head her on chest. It was so peaceful listening to her breathing and the soft beating of her heart. There was something very soothing about that ritual. Its amazing how five little words change so many things. When I really feel like I just cant keep going anymore I just need my mother to say  ‘Its going to be okay’. Some how she is always right, its like she just knows.

I love coming back from her place. Right now I feel like I have what it takes to face the world again. I love my mommy. Plus She gave me a water cooler and a Pilate’s DVD LOL.

A garden is a delight to the eye and a solace for the soul.

Posted in A fresh start, Garden, New Projects, Reflection Time on January 18, 2009 by navasha123

My garden designs arrived today!!

I was thrilled with what they presented to us and we cant wait to get them started. Unfortunately we are going to have to wait four more months to get started. The building needs to be completed and the rainy season needs draw to a halt.

What I have on the plans:

A section for the adults, this is a section where we will put the water feature. Its close to the patio and brings a sense of calmness to a long busy day. We have ever green plants and soothing colours.

The forget about it corner, this was really important to me. I wanted a section in the garden where we could go have a discussion and leave it there.  Here we have ever green srubs and some pretty colours in summer. Its a little private but you still have a sense of being part of the garden around you. Its under a huge oak tree which will allow some change in the diffrent seasons.

The children’s corner, this part I am really excited to develop. Its a place only for children where they can go when they need to relax or find some peace with in. Having watched Jasmyne over the last five years I have found that although she  loves her bedroom she really enjoys being outside. This little section will also be near a vegetable garden for the girls. I would like them to have a place where they can explore their gardening talents and be proud of their little crops. We are going to build a hobbit house here too which will provide just enough space for little girls and a tea party.This is a section with ever green and seasonal plants. The flowers will have bright colours and the shrubs, interesting textures.

So there you have it my new years project is about to take off very soon, I have decided to give each section a name. I think that will come to us once the garden has been set up. We could even have a garden naming party LOL.

The purpose of fun is to have it.

Posted in A fresh start, Baking, New Projects, School on January 16, 2009 by navasha123

It was our first school gala today. Jasmyne could not wait to get to school to see what they would be doing. Although the grade O’s were not swimming they were still given the opportunity to join the rest of the school to participate in the cheering. I think it was also a really nice way to introduce the little ones to the rest of the school and their traditions.

All the children were put into their sports houses. Jazz is in the green house. She really enjoyed her first sports day. I have been informed that at the end of the year shes going to swim as fast as the big children and everyone will be cheering for her like she did for them today.  So lets hope the weather holds for her tomorrow since swimming has started again and she is really looking forward to going. I also had to fill out ballet forms today, they have ballet after school now.

On the topic of sports little Abigail is getting rather good at throwing and catching her ball. Jasmyne made her a little material ball during the holidays and this has become one of Abigail’s most treasured possessions. She loves to carry is around with her on her travels around the house. She also has the most beautiful table manners.

I really hope that both girls keep going with the sporting activities at school. I have given this some thought and there is no way they could not benefit from participating. Wolgnag Schadler was once quoted saying “Victory isn’t defined by wins or losses. It is defined by effort. If you can truthfully say, ‘I did the best I could, I gave everything I had,’ then you’re a winner.” I tend to agree with him.

This evening my mini project nearly ended in tears. I had just finished up and started to clean away my tools. One of the rather large containers needed space on one of the top shelves in the kitchen, so I pushed the few things blocking the way aside and a book fell over the edge. It felt as if time stopped for those few spit seconds as I watched the other books following the first! The books had fallen right  on top of my project! I needed a few deep breaths before I started lifting the books. Thankfully there was no harm done the books had fallen at a rather strange angle. I would hate to think how I would have attempted damage  in this case had the books not fallen like they did. This situation made me think about a few things though. So what if the books had fallen the other way. There is always a work around, and even though I would be very disappointed it would not be the end of the world. I seem to worry about the small details in the day and often forget to consider the big picture. I wonder if that is not the route of all my daily stress. So frantic about trying to make one small thing perfect that I do not have time to sit back and enjoy the big picture.

I think I am going to try that tomorrow. Just let things happen and really enjoy those moments rather than try control them. Who knows I may just have fun for a change rather than being the one who’s making sure everything is perfect.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Posted in A fresh start, Best friend, First day at school, growing up, Learning, School, Teacher on January 14, 2009 by navasha123

Today was Jasmynes first day in big school. She started Grade R.  I was so proud of  her, in her little uniform. We bought her a size 4-5 and it was still to big. The shirt just passes her knees the pants we had to take in on the sides. You have exactly four fingers of skin between the end of the pants and the start of the socks where you can see her little legs peeping out. Her jersey has to be pulled up or it hangs way over her finger tips. I really think I should have gone with the 3-4 size but I was concerned about it being a tad to small.

Last night:

Jasmyne was very eager about starting today, we spoke about her new teacher Mrs Van Wyk and her new class and what it would be like to make new friends. Jasmyne insisted on helping my make her sandwiches. I love watching her spread the butter over the bread, she does it with so much care. Then she pulled out the cherries and pretzels and a small tub of yogurt .Then we packed her school cooler bag and she sat with me while we chatted about growing up. After she went to bed I popped a little note in her lunch tin. The note says:

Jasmyne,

You are our little star I love you always mommy.

She found it this morning while she was packing her cooler bag into her school bag. I knew beacuse she came to ask me why it says rats on the letter I gave her. Shes going through this weird phase of reading letters backwards. Its cute however weird it may be.

This morning:

Jasmyne was up and about very early.  We had set the table for her last night before bed so this morning, I made her breakfast. She declined, I could see on her face that this was the last thing she wanted to be doing. I let her go and she whizzed off to her room to get dressed. When she came out she was looking so smart! Little Abigail was so excited she ran to Jazz and hugged her so tight.

At school:

Our first day was amazing. Jazz just slipped into the whole vibe of the school. The kids were all very excited about being back at school.They had SABC walking around chatting to parents and children.

Jazz walked into her class and started looking for her name on her desk. Her desk is in the middle of the class right up front near the teacher. Then she went looking for her locker. Its so pretty, she has a bottom locker with her name tag neatly printed on it. Next to her name is a very pretty pink little flower. She popped her little bag in her locker then greeted the teacher and bolted outside to go check out the school play ground. Then she came back in and said hello to Rachel. They met at orientation day and shes been so excited out about seeing her again. Rachel was thrilled to see Jasmyne, her mother said she was talking about her the entire holiday. Before we left Jasmyne said Rachel was going to be her new best friend Laughing Her teacher is lovely and warm. I have a good feeling about this school.

The 911 on the first day in class:

After school Granny collected Jazzy. I called them to see how it went. Jen said that Jasmyne was rather quiet and very tired. I called Jazzy and she said that she had a wonderful day, she loved playing with her new friends and she loved her new teacher. She said that all the children were given their own crayons and that they had to draw pictures of themselves. Jazz said she drew a picture of her with coloured hair! She loved playing with Rachel and would like her to come over for a play date. Jared was also there today Jasmyne says he wanted to talk to her about his holiday but she didnt want to listen she just wanted to run around and play.

And so the first day of school draws to an end.

Some pictures:

Be The Best of Whatever You Are ….

Posted in A fresh start, First day at school, growing up, Reflection Time, Teacher on January 13, 2009 by navasha123

Tomorrow is my little Jasmynes first day in big school. The excitement has been building up at home all week as we counted down the days. I sat back this afternoon and thought about my first day at school. I remember my mother walking into my bedroom with my pretty little red and white uniform. She came to sit on my bed and said to me, Nashy, what ever happens tomorrow and the day after just do your best and things will always work out. I have always kept that with me especially on days when I feel like I just dont have it in me to take that next step. She put my hair in rag curls, I remember her carefully pulling up each stand and then slowly twisting it around until it was neatly fixed to my head.

The first day was a big day in our house. I would be going to the school my mother went to when she was a little girl like me. I was up and dressed early that morning, when I walked into the kitchen my mother had made my porridge already and was waiting to take down my curls. I had a huge red bag that I could carry on my back, it matched my uniform.My mother was so proud. I could tell because she was wiping away her tears as she took photos of me on the lawn.

When we arrived at school we were shown to my new classroom. It was huge and there were many parents milling about. I was rather outspoken and went to every child there and introduced myself. I was so excited about making new friends! My first best friends name was Maria she was greek and her father owned a corner shop that was filled with sweets and always smelt like freashly baked bread. My teachers name was Mrs Powel, she was a huge lady with long black curls. She always wore a strong floral perfume and bright red lipstick. I liked her, she always had time to sit down and ask me how I was doing. I know she loved to teach everyday she would let me sit with her and she would show me how to read half way into the year I was allowed to go to the standard one class to get my own reading books. Thinking back now I think she was one of the best teachers I ever had. I found some old friends on face book and asked how she was. Mrs Powel had passed away a few years ago. its rather sad that I never got the opportunity to go back and thank her for all that she had done for me.

I wonder if any of the other teachers are still there. I wonder if I had to go back now how much would have changed, if they would still remember me. I guess not, at least I remember them.

For my little girl on your first day of school

If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill
Be a scrub in the valley–but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.

If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway some happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie then just be a bass–
But the liveliest bass in the lake!

We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here.
There’s big work to do and there’s lesser to do,
And the task we must do is the near.

If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail–
Be the best of whatever you are!

by Douglas Malloch

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

Posted in A fresh start, Girls Time, Letting those who matter know, New Projects, Saving Money, Sisters on January 11, 2009 by navasha123

Jasmyne and I popped out this morning to go pick up some little things for her lunch tin. This is the first time I have to pack lunch for school, its so exciting!!

I gave Jazz the opportunity to pick things that she would like to see in her cooler bag. I was pleasantly suprised with what she selected. There was one treat that she requested, chocolate chip cookies which I thought was okay to sneak in.  We started weekly pocket money this week as well. Five rand a week to be exact. Jasmyne was so excited about this, she asked me to please sit and write down all her money things like mommy and daddy do. So we sat this evening and drew up her budget. Jasmyne says she would like to save up for an ice cream maker so that she can make ice cream when ever she wants. I had to giggle at the thought of having 600 liters of ice cream in the fridge *giggle*’

This afternoon I decided to tackle a few more things, on my to do list this for year. Let those who matter know. I invited my In laws over for a huge lunch to say thank you for helping us with the children during the holidays.While I was making lunch I discovered a new recipe. I call it green tato pies. Its basically mash and beans and onions mashed and cut in to circles. Then I grill them with a little mozzarella on top until they are crispy. They were quite a hit.

Abigail also learned something new today. If she walks to where the bread bin is in the kitchen and points and says der der, Jasmyne will make her d. I  decided to slip out of the kitchen for a few seconds just to get my bath going. When I got back Abby was pulling out ALL the plates in the Tupperware cupboard and Jasmyne was making some very syrupy peanut butter sandwiches for the two of them. Abigail could not contain her excitement as Jazz proudly handed her the plate and sat down immediately and started to chomp away.

Now my little angles are in bed after begging me to read them every story in Abigails bookshelf. My throat is sore, I have something that can only be the left overs of a peanut butter sanwhich squished between my toes and I need to go do my own budget before I can call it a night. This week is going to be an adventure. New school, new routines, new friends. How much more fun could we ask for.

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.

Posted in A fresh start, Learning, New Projects, Play Therapy, Reflection Time, Time together on January 10, 2009 by navasha123

Yesterday was the first day of our parenting classes . One of the things that came out of Jasmynes testing at the end of last year was that Jasmyne was extremely bright but also rather stressed. This seemed to be the reason she was lashing out and being difficult at school and at home. What was decided was that we needed some family intervention. As a team we were not working together any more. We  decided that we could take one of two routes. We  could ride out the storm and see how things go or we could grab the bull by the horns and see if there was anything that we could learn about parenting that we did not know.

After yesterdays session I walked away feeling rather positive. I do know what needs to be done, in my heart I always have. The difference is that now I know how I am going to do it. It comes down to one of my biggest fears, Being good enough. I seem to have this fear that I will never be a good enough mother or partner or friend. When things go wrong I blame myself.

Re-learning this is not about blaming or pointing fingers. Its about growing and teaching my children to grow. My dream for them is that one day they have the confidence they need to make choices that impact their lives.

We looked at a few topics but it was mainly based on

1. Dealing with feelings and how to express them and how to acknowledge them.
2. How to manage wining and feelings of frustration when children cannot get what they would like.
3. The importance of spending one on one time with each of the children in the evenings and at least 3-4 hours a day on a weekend as a family.
4. Change and how negative and positive change is stressful.

As I mentioned these are things I already know.  So why am  doing this then? I wondered about it myself last night and this is what I came up with. I can afford to send my kids to a beautiful school where I am sure they will both receive a wonderful educations. I can bring them home and teach them to bake, draw, sew and send them to private music and swimming  lessons. Is that really enough to help them become all that they can?

The question nagging me in the back of my mind is what do you do with all these skills of you do not have a good sense of self esteem and a confidence in the choices you make. If you do not have dreams and have an idea how to follow them, where will life take you? If there is a chance that these meetings can help me tackle topics such as  learning to communicate, how to discuss  topics like sex, loosing friends, drugs and so forth why not do it? If there was a way to teach my girls about values and to standing up for what they believe in why not at least try it.

That is where we are at the moment. I would like to think that all the learning wont change our family it would just make us a stronger team.