A change is as good as a holiday …

Posted in Reflection Time on April 22, 2009 by navasha123

Things went mad at the start of school suddenly time became a valuable commodity. I have got some lovely news on my little family though!

Abigail:  Shes talking! Its lovely to hear her chatter in the mornings. Shes is the little lady of the house. Abby has loads of new teeth they are perfect in every way.

Jasmyne: My little sunshine did exceptionally well in her first term. It was good to have that feed back after months of uncertainly on the choices we were making for her. Jazzy finally lost her first tooth (naturally might I add).

Vaughn: One morning he woke up and decided we should get married. Which was wonderful since I now have something to plan!

Me: I am in a great place at the moment, it feels like my home life has settled. I have been baking again and now that I have a carmera I can take pictures!!

I think I should make a whole new page on the wedding its so exciting and has been so much easier to plan this time around.

new picture of my babies

ahhhhhhhh we are back in action

Posted in Reflection Time on February 20, 2009 by navasha123

after not having a working modem for a while i am finally back lol so watch this space folks

Dreams are like stars…you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.

Posted in ADHD on February 9, 2009 by navasha123

When I was little my sister and I used to watch the never ending story over and over. We watched it so many times we had the entire movie memorised. There is one part that sums up my day today it goes like this …

Bastian: Why is it so dark?

Empress Moonchild: In the beginning it is always dark.

Bastian: What is that?

Empress Moonchild: One grain of sand. It is all that remains of my vast empire.

Bastian: Fantasia has totally disappeared?

Empress Moonchild: Yes

Bastian: Then everything has been in vain.

Empress Moonchild: No, it hasn’t. Fantasia can arise in you. In your dreams and wishes Bastian.

Bastian: How?

Empress Moonchild: Open your hand.

Empress Moonchild: What are you going to wish for?

Bastian: I don’t know.

Empress Moonchild: Then there will be no Fantasia any more.

Bastian: How many wishes do I get?

Empress Moonchild: As many as you want. And the more wishes you make, the more magnificent Fantasia will become.

Bastian: Really?

Empress Moonchild: Try it.

Jasmyne came home this afternoon and this little girl was glowing. All my fears were lifted in this one single moment. If we only have this one day that will be good enough for me, beacuse this day helped my little girl see that there is so much out there that can be achieved.

In her exact words Jasmyne said mommy i didn’t get into trouble once not even once beacuse i just told my mind to be quiet.

I checked her work book she had stickers on all three pages, she said her swimming went very well she didn’t need a noodle today.She said there was no fighting today either!

Vaughn came home and I got the first of my Valentines day gifts. Long stemmed red roses, can you say ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So if we have this one single moment I can live with that. I feel like I am walking on air and right beside me is little Jasmyne.

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.

Posted in A fresh start, Family on February 8, 2009 by navasha123

I think its time to share my a little about my mom. Shes been through a alot with me and the amazing thing about her is that there is never a task to great when it comes to her kids.

I went there today to gain a little more courage and some love. Yes I admit it I am a mommies girl and I run to my mommy for love and attention.

Today I needed love more than anything. It was great to be able to curl up in her arms just for a hug. It reminds me of when I was little she would lay on her bed and I would go lay down beside her and put my head her on chest. It was so peaceful listening to her breathing and the soft beating of her heart. There was something very soothing about that ritual. Its amazing how five little words change so many things. When I really feel like I just cant keep going anymore I just need my mother to say  ‘Its going to be okay’. Some how she is always right, its like she just knows.

I love coming back from her place. Right now I feel like I have what it takes to face the world again. I love my mommy. Plus She gave me a water cooler and a Pilate’s DVD LOL.

If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you.

Posted in Reflection Time on February 7, 2009 by navasha123

OH MY. Abigail had her first swimming lesson this morning. She was thrilled to be in the water after standing on the side lines for the passed few weeks. Once she was in there was no stopping her. We were lucky to be allowed to swim while Jasmyne was in the water which made the logistics so much easier. Abby tried to copy Jasmyne, which meant she ended up sticking her face in the water a few times.

Jasmyne had a great lesson I turned around just in time to see her put her head in the water and do a lap! she still had her swimming aids on but today was the first time she really started swimming with out help.  She did four more before taking a break.

We had a small fight trying to get Abigail out the water, she really enjoyed herself this morning.

I have been watching Jasmyne closley to see any changes in her. So far I have ot seen anything. Shes still happy go lucky little jasmyne, still eating up a storm, still making up songs and practicing her ballet.

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.

Posted in ADHD, Learning, Reflection Time on February 6, 2009 by navasha123

It was a bitter sweet victory today. Its been a while since I really felt like I had some decent answers to all my questions. Today was diffrent it feels like  a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A huge part of me did not want to see that Jasmyne had ADHD it felt like agreeing with all the doctors meant I was admitting defeat. A big part of me, and I do mean a BIG part of me wanted to just forget about this and act like everything was fine. That there were no issues in class, that there were no issues at home that my daughter was totally perfect in every way possible. The stigma that I had glued to ADHD was appalling, and to all the mothers out there who have dealt with this every day I do apologize. What I believed ADHD was last year and what I know it is now are two entirely diffrent things.

So what do I know about it so far?

I know now that its not caused bypoor parenting or an unstable homelife alothough this could make things worse for the child. I know that sugar could be a trigger but its not the cause. I know that this would happen even in the most promineta schools and has nothing to do with the teachers ability to teach. I know that TV wont cause this either. In excess these things would make things more difficult but they would not be the cause.

There is more i have leaned and there is more than I do need to learn. At least we have a way forward and I am feeling very positive at the moment.

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Posted in Reflection Time on February 5, 2009 by navasha123

I woke up in such a state this morning at 2 am and then at 3am and then at 4am. I had so much going through my head  and most of it is just anger and disappointment. Jasmynes godfathers were involved in an armed robbery last night. Thankfully no one was hurt. This was the second armed robbery in our area in as many weeks.

The police were very helpful they arrived in a cracking 45 minutes! Sure they are just up the road but they were probably busy dealing with real problems so who could really blame them.

So these armed strangers, wait lets be truthful here these thugs, walked into our friends home after going next door. They went next door only to realise that the two women in there were black and apologised to them for disturbing them and then went on to explain that they were only there to rob the white guys and then left. At this point I was raging how dare they make it a race issue. Once I had come to my senses I was thankful. Looking at the lesser of the two evils I am almost thankful that it was a race issue and not some random act of violence, these two woman could have been raped for no reason. Their lives could have been dramatically altered if things were different. So to a degree the things that happened, probably end better than most circumstances.

My friends had guns to their heads, their computer room was trashed, the work they had been doing was either stolen or destroyed. They were face down helplessly wondering what was going to happen next with guns aimed at them. Even though the work was backed up its now gone. Any money they had is gone, along with bank cards and pin numbers. Even if the cards are stopped it will take a while to have it put back into the accounts. Which means that they are going to have a difficult month ahead.

So while I was laying in bed jumping with every sounds around me, I tried to understand what had gone on. People like this make me so angry really they do, the best reason they could come up with for putting a gun to someones head was because they are white. In a world with so many issues already the best excuse they could drum up was race. Honestly that was lame. If I had access to a gun I could think of so many better reasons to put it to someones head, but skin colour? Really? Is that the best they could come up with?  I am trying to picture how they planned this.

Hey Bob how about the five of us commit an armed robbery I have the guns laying in the boot

Great idea mike! We can make loads of money and destroy a few lives and careers!

Well bob that depends on what we take.

What will we blame it on if we get caught Mike?

Um, well Bob I didn’t quite think that through, if we say something like we believe they are evil satanists we would have to prove it, so lets just play the race card, it works.

My biggest mistake this time round was not getting Jasmyne out the lounge when they arrived. She sat there wide eyed soaking this all up. So this morning while I was getting ready for work I also had to answer questions like, why did the baddies only say they want to steal from the white mens? I have no one to blame here but myself I should have moved her sooner.

So the big question comes up yet again what do we do, clearly our area is not that safe.

My answer to that is we am staying right where we am! I love my home! I am concerned about my families safety there was a reason I could not sleep last night but I have a bigger project I am working on. I am not going to let these thugs bully us out of our homes. I am going to keep teaching my children that we are better than this and that we do live in a beautiful country. I am going to keep teaching them that no matter what there is never a good reason to put a gun to someones head, there is never a good reason to destroy someones life , there is never a good reason to hurt anyone. I know we are going to win this, if we all stick together and do this the right way.

So no, I am not a sitting duck I would like to see myself as being proactive. I will make more of an effort to get to know my neighbors, I will be more vigilant in terms of keeping my children safe and we will be that change everyone wants to see in South Africa. My question to you is, can you be that too?