Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third

Today started like any other day would. We woke up, got ready dropped the kids off and kissed them goodbye. I remember asking Jasmyne to please pack her jersey in her bag. I remember that I gave Abigail a piece of date cake before breakfast. I remember that the drive to work was rather quiet for no particular reason, it was just quiet. I do not remember saying I love you to Abigail, I am sure I would have I always say it but today I don’t remember saying it.

Work was pretty much the same start up the computer, make some tea, open emails and have breakfast. As the people start arriving greet everyone and talk about what was interesting the night before. We were all outside having our morning smoke break when Sams phone rang. The sudden ash white colour of  her skin gave the conversation  away. What we were told confirmed our worst fears. Something had happened.

Its incredible how it almost feels like time has grounded to a halt, your body goes ice cold and the sounds of the voices around you become nothing dim background noise. All that you can hear are the hard thuds of your heart beat as you try to make sense of was just said. Its always the key words that stand out there was an accident, he may not make it, surgery, lost arm, pregnant wife, head injury, ICU.  As you start coming out of that numbed zoned out state, adrenaline takes over. Reality sinks in and you just know that this is not a dream or some very bad practical joke, this is really happening and you may just loose a friend today. Fear seems to start with a focal point. Like a spider web each thought, links to the next and grows. Sometimes you find yourself trapped in a double web.

After we heard the news about our friend my grandfather called. My grandmother who has been in the hospital for the passed week had been rushed to ICU. When its closer to home your emotions race a little faster at first. You wonder when the last time was that you hugged her, when was the last time that you told her you loved her, If you have ever told her that she has always been the most special person in the world, to you . Your mind moves back to when you were 5 and upset and she held you so tight that you wished she would never let you go and you wonder if she remembers that and treasures that moment like you do.

Life does change regardless of the course you have plotted out for yourself. There is no set formula that can tell you when it will take a dip or when it will end. No one will ever know for sure what the future does hold, nor will we always understand why things happen when they do. That is not what its about. Life is about living in that one moment, its about feeling each and everything second  as it happens. There is a balance which means that to feel all that really good you need to experience the bad. You will know when something is that good because you have seen life when its really bad.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.– Abraham Lincoln

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4 Responses to “Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third”

  1. Hope your grandmother is OK!

  2. (((HUGS))) I hope your gran is okay Navasha.

  3. so true! Sorry to hear about your Gran. All the best *beeg hugs*

  4. tons of love and hugs, i know its not easy and you feel helpless, but she knows you love and adore her – thats all she needs….and i am VERY serious that if you need to pls call or pop by or email or anything…i am here for you

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