There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.

Yesterday was the first day of our parenting classes . One of the things that came out of Jasmynes testing at the end of last year was that Jasmyne was extremely bright but also rather stressed. This seemed to be the reason she was lashing out and being difficult at school and at home. What was decided was that we needed some family intervention. As a team we were not working together any more. We  decided that we could take one of two routes. We  could ride out the storm and see how things go or we could grab the bull by the horns and see if there was anything that we could learn about parenting that we did not know.

After yesterdays session I walked away feeling rather positive. I do know what needs to be done, in my heart I always have. The difference is that now I know how I am going to do it. It comes down to one of my biggest fears, Being good enough. I seem to have this fear that I will never be a good enough mother or partner or friend. When things go wrong I blame myself.

Re-learning this is not about blaming or pointing fingers. Its about growing and teaching my children to grow. My dream for them is that one day they have the confidence they need to make choices that impact their lives.

We looked at a few topics but it was mainly based on

1. Dealing with feelings and how to express them and how to acknowledge them.
2. How to manage wining and feelings of frustration when children cannot get what they would like.
3. The importance of spending one on one time with each of the children in the evenings and at least 3-4 hours a day on a weekend as a family.
4. Change and how negative and positive change is stressful.

As I mentioned these are things I already know.  So why am  doing this then? I wondered about it myself last night and this is what I came up with. I can afford to send my kids to a beautiful school where I am sure they will both receive a wonderful educations. I can bring them home and teach them to bake, draw, sew and send them to private music and swimming  lessons. Is that really enough to help them become all that they can?

The question nagging me in the back of my mind is what do you do with all these skills of you do not have a good sense of self esteem and a confidence in the choices you make. If you do not have dreams and have an idea how to follow them, where will life take you? If there is a chance that these meetings can help me tackle topics such as  learning to communicate, how to discuss  topics like sex, loosing friends, drugs and so forth why not do it? If there was a way to teach my girls about values and to standing up for what they believe in why not at least try it.

That is where we are at the moment. I would like to think that all the learning wont change our family it would just make us a stronger team.